I went to McDonalds for breakfast this morning which I admit is both nasty and gross, but for some reason I was craving a slider. Oh, that’s right you probably don’t know what a slider is; my dad calls a Sausage and Egg McMuffin a “slider” because it is so greasy it sort of “slides” right down your throat, no chewing required, but enough of the commentary on trans fat, this story has a far greater more philosophical point.

The way the Mickie D’s is located in Bryant Arkansas, it is possible to enter the drive through from Reynolds Road or you can also come around the back via the Lowes parking lot. Well, I had just been to Lowes, so of course I entered from that direction and attempted to get in line for the drive through. That’s where I met the young blonde in the Black Elantra.

As I tried to merge into the line, she did the “whoops I never saw you” cut off and pulled up so as to block me from entering. You know the “whoops I never saw you” cut off…It’s the one where the driver just looks straight ahead like they are REALLY busy sitting there in line and just sorta missed letting you in. DUDE I drive a huge Ram 1500 Hemi. It’s Dark Blue, It’s Big and It’s Loud…pretty hard to miss.

Thankfully the lady behind her did in fact see me and waved for me to merge in. You could tell from the smile on her face that she too had recognized the “whoops I never saw you”.

Anyways, as I am sitting there beginning to steam, I thought to myself, “Why let this moron steal my nice day, after all, it’s not like I am in a big hurry to get anywhere”, and I hatched a quick plan.

When I got to the microphone to order I told the clerk that before I ordered, I needed her to do something for me. I told her that there was a black Elantra in front of me and that no matter what happened that she was not to take the lady’s money as I would be paying for her breakfast this morning. She questioned this but I told her to trust me and that it was going to be quite entertaining .

So the Blonde in the black car pulls up to the first window. As I watch she and the clerk get into an argument about her paying the clerk. All the while the folks in front of her are getting their food and leaving. I let her argue with the clerk until everyone in front of her had picked up their food at the second window and was gone and then I rolled my window down.

I yelled out the window, “C’mon lady you were in such a big hurry, move your butt!”. This elicited a perplexed look from a pair of eyes in her rear view mirror, but she pulled forward.

I then paid the clerk for her breakfast, a total of $8.71 and then mine which was four bucks and change. The clerk was hysterical. I asked how it went and she told me the lady was in tears because she could not understand why I had done that when she had acted like in hers words, “such a b!*ch”. I smiled and then pulled up to the second window where I got my breakfast. Apparently it was all over McDonalds, and those folks were pretty entertained, but I was not quite down with miss blondy yet.

I pulled along side her as we both were about to merge out onto Reynolds Road. She opened her door and said something that sounded like an apology to which I replied, “MANNERS. You should try some”. I then pulled out, got on the freeway and headed north to Little Rock.

Now, I could have cussed her and called her everything but human, and she would have likely ignored it. I could have ranted and raved and raised my blood pressure for a moron I do not even know, and all I would have done was ruined my chilled out morning, she obviously could not have cared less. I could have flipped her the bird, but she would have forgotten me by the time she hit the freeway. It cost me $8.71 but I made her cry, I made her think about her actions and I am certain she thought about the guy that she “whoops I never saw you” cut off at least for the rest of the day.

Priceless.